The Bachelor Canada: New Bachelor Announced

Ladies, GIRD YOUR LOINS! There’s fresh blood/meat/optimism in the Bachelor world!

Chris Leroux, a 33-year old retired professional baseball player is going to find love or at least a six month relationship on the upcoming season of the Bachelor Canada which premieres this fall on W Network.

While I hold a grudge with the #BachCan world for not picking my friend Jen to be a contestant on the upcoming season, I must admit that I’m intrigued by their new choice for Bachelor Canada.

The 6 ft 1 Montreal native who calls Toronto home, previously played for the New York Yankees, Florida Marlins and the Pittsburgh Pirates. Impressive stuff, right? While there’s no word on his current form of employment (how you payin’ those bills, Chris?) I’ve decided Chris is either selling insurance or sperm to make money. Either one seems viable.

 

 

Chris Leroux, Bachelor Canada Season 3
Chris Leroux, Bachelor Canada Season 3 Source: Global

Although I’m not partial to men who look like an Aryan wet-dream, I am intrigued by the former professional athlete angle. Benefits of dating former athletes are threefold:

1.) They most likely still have abs (muscle memory is a thing)

2.) They’re not on the road so jealous bitches can keep tabs on their mans

3.) “Former” doesn’t appeal to thirsty women trying out in the streets trying to turn a one night fling into 18 years of child-support.

Judging from Chris’s Instagram,  I would wager that the franchise’s choice for Bachelor is unlike his predecessors.

Case in point: Dude still uses a filter on his pictures. Which is adorably refreshing and makes my little, cynical, black heart swell to the size of a normal, cynical, black heart. Could there finally be a Bachelor Canada who isn’t looking for fame and protein shakes?

BACH
Source: Instagram

Ladies, form a line. Cash needs a Mom.

Also, unlike previous contestants, Chris is on the other side of thirty. Which is not a big deal, given a certain blogger *ahem* is just about there with him, but it COULD mean Chris is actually ready to settle down and make some plans with a partner.

Is it just me or is finding love on TV less weird given the current app culture? What used to be so foreign and strange now seems like a decent idea to tap into a new pool of prospects and potentially get some free meals, or at the very least the social media following to be accepted to Raya.

Since we know very little about Chris and have yet to stumble across someone willing to spill the dirt on his romantic history, let’s all root for Chris as he begins this journey to find love for the right reasons!

 

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Bachelorette Canada Update: It’s O-V-E-R for Jasmine and Kevin

I’m a little late to the blogging game on this one but the Bachelor Canada curse strikes again!

It’s over for the Bachelorette Canada star Jasmine Lorimer and her firefighting beau, Kevin Wendt. The two have amicably ended their five month engagement, taking to  social media to announce their split.

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Source 

Are we surprised? No. Dating on reality TV defies the laws of nature and is a sick form of entertainment for us mortals.

Are we sad? Sure.

For me it’s the same as hearing about a car accident. The same questions apply.

First question: “Is everyone OK?”

Second question:”What happened?”

Third question, “Who’s at fault and can you sue?”

The writing was on the wall when the couple chose to forego their press tour following the Bachelorette Finale. In the days when it should have been UTI inducing sexcapades and shameless ring selfies, the couple was keeping a surprisingly low profile.

The British Columbia based beauty and the Toronto based piece of man meat tried to make the relationship work long distance. Which, as someone who’s tried it once can attest, it never works out, and will most likely end in wasted plane tickets and a series of break-up texts.

Sad.

Breakup.PNG
A punch to the Reality TV gut! Source – Instagram 

I enjoyed the premiere season of the Bachelorette Canada and could tell Jasmine and Kevin had some crazy chemistry. It sucks whenever someone has their heart-broken and I wish them both well. Methinks they’ll both find happiness and have lucrative Instagram sponsored ads in the future.

Since this is the third #BachCan relationship to go down the pooper, does this mean the franchise will call it quits?

You may recall both Brad Smith and Tim Whatever-his-name-is broke up with their partners after their seasons wrapped. I’ve been waiting patiently for the next Bachelor Canada to be announced but so far…nothing. Zilch. Bupkis.

Let me say this now, W Network or Slice: I NEED MY BACH FIX. So help me god, you find a way to make this happen with the same determination and can-do attitude that a junkie has when looking for a vein that hasn’t collapsed. Make it work.

Until the new season of the Bachelorette premieres on ABC in May, I’ve been hanging on by a thread with The Real Housewives of Toronto.

You can hear about that show on my podcast Boys Don’t Like Funny Girls.

Who are you hoping is the next Bachelor Canada? Do you think this is it for the franchise?

Ladies love diamonds, selfies, breakup playlists and The Bachelor recap!

Today we’re talking about wedding nightmares, why you should never order expensive cocktails on an empty stomach, the taboo of a selfie in public, the saddest songs in the world, and even delve into some serious talk (re: That Guy becoming President of the United States, Body Issues etc…)
As always, there’s a Bachelor Recap about Corrine’s art of seduction, why the Backstreet Boys are better than any other boy band (we’ll fight you) and why Pool Parties are a far cry from t-shirts over one piece swimsuits.