Funny Girl Hall of Fame: Lucille Ball

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“I’m not funny. What I am is brave.”
― Lucille Ball

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The Bachelorette Canada: Jasmine and Kevin break their silence

I was going to wait until the beautiful mumbler, Nick Viall, made his debut as Bachelor to blog, but last night’s interview with Bachelorette Canada couple, Jasmine and Kevin, was too good to stay silent.

I’m coming out of retirement like Michael Jordan to muse on the latest news about our favourite flaxen haired Bachelorette, Jasmine, and her betrothed who broke their silence on ET Canada with Roz Weston.

Here’s the gist of their first interview since the After the Final Rose special aired:

Yes, They’re still engaged

No, they never broke up

Kevin’s hair is still a work in progress

Social media can be vicious

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Click here to watch the ET Canada interview. Come back and we’ll discuss.

*Cracks knuckles*

Firstly, I’m glad Jasmine and Kevin have resurfaced after what seemed like an ETERNITY away from social media. In reality, it was only a week, and the couple said they needed to decompress from the show and have some one on one time. It seems that the overwhelming social media interest and criticism was at times, too much for the newly engaged couple.

I get it. I do. I cried the first time someone trolled me online and I’m just a cat-loving, sweat pants wearing nobody. I can imagine the scrutiny can cut like a knife and no amount of replaying Taylor Swift’s “Mean” on a loop or puppy videos on YouTube can cure that level of sadness.

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However, attention comes with being on a TV show. Sure, you still have a right to your privacy, but once you sign up to have your romantic life broadcast as entertainment, you have to know that your every move will be discussed, applauded and at times, criticized by fans of the franchise who sometimes forget the “reality stars” are people, too.

I have mixed feelings about this whole thing. I’ve debated blogging about Bachelorette Canada because there seems to be a “too close to home” aspect about the show. Would I have the same thoughts about the OG Bach franchise in the States?

Absolutely not.

It takes a certain kind of person with a particular type of confidence to put yourself out there in the entertainment industry. Maybe fans assume (and you know what they say about assuming) that Jasmine’s confidence was bulletproof and no amount of online trolling would get under her skin.

I feel bad for Jasmine in the sense that, unlike many Bachelor/Bachelorettes, her finale didn’t seem to be a celebration of her “journey.” Instead, it was an awkward, emotional rehashing of a relationship that had no future.

The PR pro in me wishes they had done interviews to redirect the narrative back onto their relationship and their future, but I also get that these are real people, in a brand new situation, who probably have no idea what they’re doing or what to do next.

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I’m glad Jasmine and Kevin are enjoying their time as boyfriend/girlfriend and I hope they can adjust to some new kind of normal.

Here’s my unsolicited advice:

Pimp the hair gummy vitamins

Start a blog

Make as much money as you can and milk this cow dry

Be kind to your fans

Ignore the haters

Enjoy each other as much as possible!

 

I absolutely LOVED this season of Bachelorette Canada and am so excited that they announced casting for the Bachelor Canada will begin December 1st. Still no word on who the new Bachelor will be…

Ahem.

Mike.

Ok. I’m crawling back into my cave until Jan. 2nd.

Congratulations Jasmine & Kevin!

 

The Bachelorette Canada: Mikhel moves on but are Jasmine and Kevin still together?

He was the runner-up on the first season of Bachelorette Canada and the most beloved contestant of the season, but Mikhel Sickand is heartbroken no more!

Mikhel has officially moved on!

After a heartbreaking finale and After the Final Rose that left some fans (including myself) wondering if we were going to see Jasmine Lorimer pull a Mesnick and go back to Mikhel,  Mikhel confirmed in a radio interview with Kiss 92.5 that he has a new lady in his life.

It seems that the lucky lady is Stephanie Laforest! The two spent the weekend at the CFL Grey Cup #makingmemories together.

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If I judge based solely on her Instagram, Stephanie is a brunette beauty, with off the charts photog skills (seriously, I’m jealous) who does some serious globe trotting!

All we need to know is that if Mikhel likes her, the Mikhel Fan Club likes her!

This next part is PURE speculation but… Guess who was finally spotted together?

Jasmine and Kevin!

A fan posted a pic with the couple who’s been laying low since the Bachelorette Finale and AFR special.

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I tried to zoom in on that lanyard to see if it’s from the CFL Grey Cup but my skills or my eyes are far from perfect.

I admit, I’m a creep.

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Could they be working things out?

Dating on television seems abnormal but oh so entertaining. Add to that SIX months of being long distance and undercover, it’s no wonder the pair has had it’s issues.

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Source – Bachelorette Fan Forum

It’s probably not easy being thrust into the public eye, and having die-hard fans like myself speculate every social media move, but dem’s the breaks!

Here’s hoping Jasmine, Kevin and Mikhel are all happy!

I’m officially retiring my coverage of Bachelorette Canada for the season and taking a break until the Big Kahuna, Nick Viall in 2017!

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving weekend, American friends!

The holiday season can be overwhelming, with Black Friday and Cyber Monday trying to pull our attention towards material things and away from what really matters.

I hope you spend this weekend with the ones you love, celebrating and giving thanks for the important things in life: Health, family, friends, love, a roof over your head, food in your belly and free WiFi.

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Scratch Bakery  (source)

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
― Epicurus

Wherever you are, it’s always a good exercise to stop, reflect and find time to give thanks for the blessings in your life.

 

 

Bachelorette Canada Finale: Is Jasmine going to pull a Mesnick?

Mesnick (mez-nih-ck): verb

The uncomfortable and cringe-worthy act of changing one’s mind about a romantic partner when caught in a love triangle. Originally coined in 2008 when Jason Mesnick, of The Bachelor franchise fame, famously broke up with his fiancé Melissa, because he was in love with runner-up, Molly.

Last night the finale of the Bachelorette Canada aired on the W Network with Jasmine Lorimer, the B.C based bombshell, being carried off into the sunset with her new fiance, Kevin Wendt.

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Jasime and Kevin Source

It should have been a happy moment for the couple, who have been keeping their relationship under wraps for the past six months. However, there were obvious signs that there was trouble in paradise, and many people are wondering if Jasmine is having second thoughts about her decision to say goodbye to runner up Mikhel Sickand .

The high I felt after Kevin slipped a ring on Jasmine’s finger quickly disappeared when a visibly upset Jasmine declared she still had feelings for Mikhel on the After Show.

Of course you have feelings for Mikhel, Jasmine. WE ALL have feelings for Mikhel!

In what was the most uncomfortable half hour of television. Kevin seemed like he was trying to put on a brave front and canoodle his girl, but Jasmine was as cold as a Winnipeg morning. Jasmine even went so far as to admit she and Kevin have had several issues since becoming engaged.

Meh, maybe it was just normal couple stuff, right?

Maybe not.

This morning it was announced that Jasmine and Kevin have cancelled their scheduled interviews. It doesn’t look good, kids. It doesn’t look good at all.

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Methinks the Bachelor curse has taken hold of these two good looking Canucks and it’ll be Tinder-City for Kevin on Christmas and New Years.Can someone please reach out to his mom for comment? We need boots on the ground. I need to know what’s going on with these people I’ve been emotionally invested in for close to two months!

We’ve all made mistakes. I sincerely enjoyed Jasmine as the Bachelorette. I’m not mad at her at all or judging her for her choice in Kevin over Mikhel – I saw the chemistry between them. It was undeniable.

Could it really be over already for Jasmine and Kevin?

Could Jasmine and Mikhel: The Remix be a thing?

I hope that Jasmine is surrounded by some good girlfriends, eating chocolate, watching Gilmore Girls and letting herself wallow in what has to be a confusing situation.

What’s it like to choose between two men? I wouldn’t know. I can imagine it’s incredibly validating in like, a sick and unhealthy way, but awkward as fuck. I wonder if there was ever a proposition to live poly-amorously followed by a meek little, “JK!”

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Mikhel and Jasmine

Mikhel is most definitely feeling the love from Bach Nation Canada today. A brokenhearted Mikhel driving away from Jasmine touched a lot of people. He was vulnerable, honest and literally copied word for word what most of us have said following a break-up. The tweets were pouring in from women and men everywhere who could empathize with Mikhel.

I feel empty inside despite finishing what was a great premiere season of The Bachelorette Canada. It’s kind of like eating a bunch of Chinese food and still feeling hungry. I need more. I need an After the Final Rose Pt 2: The After, AFTER show.

I’m a pop culture vulture who doesn’t want to pick at the scraps of this potential love carcass but times are tough and I obviously have too much time on my hands.

What do you think will happen next?

Would Jasmine pull a Mesnick? Would Mikhel give her a second chance?

If you can’t find love on television…where are you going to find it?

Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life

In anticipation of the Gilmore Girls revival, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, I’ve created a wish list of things I NEED to see happen during the four part series!

This article was originally featured on Hello Vancity, the lifestyle blog I contribute to for all things pop culture, fashion and beauty. 

Enjoy! 

The long awaited revival of the beloved dramedy, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, will hit Netflix on Friday, November 25th.

I would describe myself as a fan, but I don’t feel as though the term conveys the intensity of my emotional investment in the series. Stars Hollow is my happy place. It’s like a suburban Island of Misfit Toys where I feel my brand of neurosis and caffeine addiction would be welcomed. It’s a magical place, home to some of the funniest, most complex, aggravating but lovable characters ever to appear on television.

Like many passionate Gilmore Girls viewers, I was deeply unsatisfied with what ended up being the series finale in 2007. It’s been ten years, and I am beside myself/physically sick with excitement to see what’s in store for everyone’s favourite Mother/Daughter duo.

 

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In anticipation of Friday’s premiere, I have compiled a Wish List to the universe of things I would like to see in the four part revival. Ask. Believe. Receive.

Not Another Fuller House

Please, TV gods. I beseech you! Do not let us stray into Fuller House territory with nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake! Like all progeny of the 80’s I was curious to see the beloved TV sitcom back on Netflix, but not even John Stamos’ immortal beauty could save that franchise.

I’m hoping, nay, praying, that with Amy Sherman Palladino back at the helm of the show, Gilmore Girls feels true to it’s original self. The show had a distinct rhythm and humour that I’m hoping will still be apparent on the revival.

Luke & Lorelai Forever

I’m firstly going to give an unpopular opinion here but go on the record saying that Lorelai doesn’t deserve Luke. Loving Lorelai is like loving a rickety wooden emotional roller coaster. That being said, I need this central relationship to still be intact during the revival. Please, don’t break-up again. Don’t marry Christopher. Don’t even talk to Christopher. No more Digger’s. No Max Medina’s.

 

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I’m aware that I’m talking to a fictional character but Lorelai: Luke is the zenith of men. Sure, he’s a little surly at times, but you can’t do better than him. You’re the reacher. He loves you despite your apparent insanity and emotional instability. Snap out of it!

Please tell me Dean went to college

I feel an affinity for Dean similar to my first boyfriend, who was conveniently also named Dean.

PLEASE tell me Dean went to a state college. A four year school. Tell me he moved on from the wreckage that was his brief starter marriage with Lindsay and his ill-fated go-around with Rory (I’m still cringing at them hooking up in a twin bed), and made something of himself.

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Dean has always had a complex when it came to work, school and money. Sure, maybe Rory didn’t do the best job at calming these insecurities, but wouldn’t it be a Pretty Woman “Big Mistake. Huge”  moment if Dean went to school, married somebody even more WASP-y than a Gilmore, sired some children and was living the picture perfect life?

Dean, you deserve it.

Not today, Huntzberger 

Keep on walkin’, Logan. Walk right on back to your trust fund and successful turn on The Good Wife.

I never liked this pairing ever since Rory got bangs and decided quitting Yale was a decent idea. Logan represents everything Lorelai despises and that alone is enough for me to dislike him. I don’t wish this fictional character ill. Maybe it would be nice if the Huntzberger enterprise fell on hard times and Logan could relate with the average American and their struggles, but do I want him with our Rory?

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rory-et-logan

 

 

No. No I do not.

Goodbye, Richard Gilmore

I have no doubt that the show will give the late actor Edward Hermann, the tribute he deserves. I hope beyond hope that for the sake of the story, Richard’s passing will finally end the tension between Lorelai and Emily. Once and for all, I’d like for Emily and Lorelai to be moving towards a healthier relationship and for the icy Gilmore stares to be kept to a minimum.

 

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Jess & Rory: The Sequel 

I will need to be sedated if Jess and Rory don’t end up together.

I’m not exaggerating. I wish I was. This is the plot point that has been putting knots in my stomach for years. Is that sad? No. Because if you cared as much as I do about this show, you would feel it to.

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Jess Mariano: The intellectual, creative, reformed bad boy that dreams are made of. He’s basically Jake Ryan in a leather jacket. Jess may have been a bit of a lost soul in his teen years, but he’s gotten his shit together, and made something of himself. Jess has made several appearances on Gilmore Girls throughout the years, but the characters have never given their love a second chance.

If Luke and Lorelai were together since the show’s ending in 2007, we can only assume that in the fictional/alternative realm that is Stars Hollow, Jess and Rory have seen each other at family events. Maybe Thanksgivings. Christmases. Stupid events for Luke’s stupid daughter, April.

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However, here’s what I’m going to need to prevent myself becoming tachycardic: I’m going to need a mutual declaration of love, and as steamy of a sex scene as Netflix will allow. YOU OWE US, Gilmore Girls. You owe us this!  I don’t need any of my Gilmore Girls to get married, I just need some loose ends tied, and those loose ends are Jess and Rory.

 

I can’t wait to binge watch Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life!

What are you hoping happens during the four part revival?

We’d love to hear from you!

Bachelorette Canada: Finale predictions and an open letter to Bach Producers

The season finale of the Bachelorette Canada airs next Tuesday, November 22nd on the W Network, and fans are waiting with baited breath to see who gets the final rose from Jasmine Lorimer.

The Vancouver based hair stylist and model has been on the hunt for love and has narrowed down her list of suitors to the final two: Mikhel, an aviation engineer from Ottawa, Kevin W., a firefighter and former member of the Canadian Navy.

Who will Jasmine pick?

I think I’ve got a pretty good idea – so let’s dive in.

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Firstly, you should know that I love the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise more than I love some/most of my family members. I would take a bullet for Chris Harrison (so long as it was not to the face, major organ, and was merely a flesh wound to give me street cred).

I’ve previously blogged my predictions on Hello Vancity and both Kevin W and Mikhel made my cut for the final four. You can read that post here.

If I were a betting woman (and I’m not because I’m too scared), I would put all of my fictional money on Kevin W., the family oriented, zanerobe wearing, tattooed firefighter. Here’s why:

Location, location, location

Kevin works in Hamilton and lives in Toronto. As we’ve seen from earlier episodes, Jasmine shows zero signs of moving anywhere but up in the world. The Vancouver babe expressed concerns about having a life in Winnipeg with contestant Mike earlier in the season, but Toronto seems the ideal speed for Jasmine, with lots of opportunities for her to work as a hair stylist.

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Jasmine and Kevin W.

Chemistry 

Sure, Jasmine’s attracted to Mikhel, but anyone looking at Kevin W and Jasmine would swear this is a real-life couple. From how they greet each other on dates, to the way he casually slips the word “Babe” into conversations, methinks these two have done some body karate. That matters, people. It matters.

 

Confidence 

Mikhel unfortunately went a little emo after the hometown dates and has expressed some doubt about his future Jasmine. Kevin W, alternatively, has expressed fear of a future without Jasmine, but seems dead set on getting a Michael Hill ring on her itty-bitty ring finger before the show is finished. Calling it now: 3 carat oval cut diamond, no halo.

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Mikhel and Jasmine 

Super Cuts! 

Since I’m an unapologetic creep, I look for all the contestants online for any clue to who the winner is. Kevin W. loves social media, and social media loves Kevin W. (Can i stop saying W?) Recently, Kevin cut his hockey hair. Thank Christ.

Sure, haircuts are a part of self care, but you know what would prompt a change in appearance?

A girlfriend who’s a hair stylist.

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Proof of a hair cut – Kevin W’s Instagram 

 

Will there be a Bachelor  follow-up?

I’ve loved this first season of the Bachelorette Canada, and thoroughly hope Good Human Productions gets the green-light for a follow-up season of the Bachelor Canada.

Sure, I think that some of this season’s contestants vying for Jasmine’s were riff raff and Tinder predators, but I think there’s real potential to have a Brad Smith caliber Bachelor again (Brad if you’re reading this, I still love you even though you have no eyebrows – let’s make-out).

Here is an open letter I’ve penned to Good Humans and the W Network about the desperate need for a Bachelor Canada Season 3

Dear Good Human and W Network Big Wigs,

As  a devout fan and live-tweeter of all things Bachelor/Bachelorette, I must implore you to consider Mike Ogilvie as the next Bachelor Canada.

Yes, I know convincing a woman to follow a man to Winnipeg would be a hard sell, but I think it can be done if you never, ever mention Winnipeg – or, mention Winnipeg with a super quick cut to Mike’s topless body, there will be a gaggle of single women lined up to live in a city with one week of summer a year.

Mike looks like he drinks milk. Not just milk, but whole milk. That kind of appeal is universal, and combined with his job in a uniform, and his love of animals and little children, you’ve basically got all the components needed for a real life, female wet dream.

Employed? Good

Tall? Good

Emotionally damaged? Even better.

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I’m  basically pregnant now  – Image Source 

This show would be gold. I think you would have another hit on your hands.

I think you owe it to your viewers, and this country, to order another season of the Bachelor Canada.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth

 

 

Who do you think Jasmine will pick?

Tell me!

 

 

 

The Feminist Book Club

I was gutted when Hillary Clinton lost the election to Donald Trump. I think he wants to be called Donald J. Trump. How very presidential.

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I’ve been so discouraged by the negative, hateful and fear invoking rhetoric of his campaign that I quite literally didn’t know what to do with myself. I was so excited to see the first female President of the United States, that it was hard not only to put that dream on hold (because it is on hold and WILL happen), but to face the very real fact that not only do women have to face sexism and deal with misogyny on a daily basis, but there’s a growing and very apparent rise of female misogynists.

That’s right. Women who dislike or hate other women.

It’s technically not our fault – we’ve been raised to live in constant competition with our peers. We have to be smarter, prettier, skinnier, sexier, than one another. Sure, we can be supportive of each other, so long as we keep the upper hand. I can want what’s best for Sally, so long as Sally doesn’t become a threat to me, my man, my job, my friends, etc.

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This intense dislike for women has never been more apparent than during this presidential election.

If you presented voters with the resumes of both candidates without attaching their names or photos, Clinton would stand out as the more qualified party to be president. Attach a picture, or video, and all of a sudden Clinton’s femininity is called into question. Her style of dress, tone of voice, appearance, weight, marriage were all under scrutiny.

This knee-jerk reaction to women in power BY women is out of fear. If a women bucks traditional gender roles, goes against everything we’re raised to believe we have to be – polite, quiet, nurturing, attractive, youthful looking, desirable… then what?

What will men think? Will men not like us if we take roles of authority? Will men not like ME if I support a woman in power?

It’s fear.

How do we combat fear?

Knowledge.

We educate ourselves on the plight of women and the need for gender equality in the work place, in the home, in government, in religion… literally everywhere. Think of a place, any place. That’s where we need to be seen, treated and paid as equals.

I’m starting a Feminist Book Club. Each month* I’ll read books on women’s studies, by renowned feminists and sociologists to discuss and dissect the women’s movement and gender roles.

This is me educating myself to understand how I can make a difference as a woman, How I can be the change I wish to see. How I can free myself of the restrictions put upon me unknowingly since birth. How I can, more importantly, forgive myself for years of self hate because I didn’t feel as though I was growing into the ideal woman.

My first pick:

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The Feminine Mystique  by Betty Friedan

“Published in 1963, it gave a pitch-perfect description of “the problem that has no name”: the insidious beliefs and institutions that undermined women’s confidence in their intellectual capabilities and kept them in the home. Writing in a time when the average woman first married in her teens and 60 percent of women students dropped out of college to marry, Betty Friedan captured the frustrations and thwarted ambitions of a generation and showed women how they could reclaim their lives. Part social chronicle, part manifesto, The Feminine Mystique is filled with fascinating anecdotes and interviews as well as insights that continue to inspire.”  – Source

 

Sounds good to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Each month or so. No pressure, babes.

 

 

Reality TV Stars I would rather see as POTUS

Along with millions of people around the world, I watched in horror/disbelief as Donald Trump became President Elect over the flaxen haired powerhouse that is Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Was this election directed by M Night Shyamalan?

Not only were these results an unexpected and shitty plot twist, but much like his films, the past fifteen months following this election have been a giant waste of time. Can someone please give me back my faith in humanity or at least refund me the price of a general admissions movie ticket and jumbo size popcorn and drink?

I’m emotionally exhausted, and I’m not even American. I get to watch from my Northern ice throne in Canada and silently weep for all that could have been!  I spent the rest of my week sitting at my desk in some kind of trance waiting to be woken up from a horrible dream. After two days of emotional distress, I woke up with a wicked bad cold, which I not so dramatically interpreted as a suicide attempt by my immune system to take me away from a world where reality stars can be leader of the free world.

I won’t stand on my bedazzled soap box and preach to you about how this election was the first sign of the apocalypse, but I will say that I’ve created a list of reality stars I would much rather have seen become President of the United States:

1. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

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Yes, I would rather have had Snooki as the first female President than live in a world where a 70 year old George Hamilton wannabe (millennials you may need to Google that reference) can get his pervy self tanner paws all over the White House. Nicole is a married mother of two, who has had her run ins with the law , but has come out the other side and transformed herself into a beautiful, albeit miniature butterfly.

2. Justin Guarini

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A name you never thought you’d hear from again. That’s right, I think the first runner up from the now cancelled American Idol, should have come out of obscurity and been named POTUS. America loves a comeback, and with Ryan Seacrest announcing the election results as some kind of full circle moment. It would have been moving. It would have been moving as hell.

3. Kris Jenner

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If Kris Jenner can make her uneducated litter of children millionaires, she can turn America’s economy around. Sure, most of the jobs she’ll create will probably be social media related, but who really cares at this point. President Jenner would make hair extensions and Botox a necessity for men and women across this great land, and would strengthen foreign relations by having her daughters appear at nightclubs in Mosul. Just think about it – Jenner 20/20.

4. Tom Bergeron

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To be honest, I don’t really see the appeal in the Dancing With the Stars host, but I also don’t see the appeal of Donald Trump, so… What’s four years of Dad jokes compared to four years of a man systematically stripping women and minorities of their rights and citizenship? Come on, people. Let’s collectively pity laugh for President Bergeron and cha-cha-cha into the future!

5. Tori Spelling

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Tori Spelling could use the money. With like, a million kids and another one on the way, Tori needs the work and the square footage that the White House provides. Plus, her husband Dean has a sex scandal in his past. That alone makes her qualified to rub elbows with the other philanderers in Washington. Politicians looooooove sex scandals (looking at you Weiner). Give Spelling a chance!

 

Who would you rather see as President than Donald J. Trump? I’m guessing it’s literally anyone else, but we want to hear from you!